Mind Over Matter: Telekinesis, Apoptosis, Mind Body Connection and Plato's Cave

Since the dawn of civilization, humans have gazed up at the boundless starry firmament above, pondering the age-old question: What is the meaning of life? The philosophical implications are fleeting, and they often go out to engage in warfare the very next day, ad infinitum; this is the human condition, if you will. However, amidst the periods of conflict and strife, humans have overlooked the true nature of the void they confront. In other words, they are asking the wrong question, assuming that "question" is even the appropriate term. Instead of contemplating the stars and wondering about their purpose, one should come to realize that the stars are, in fact, not real. They are placed in the firmament by some higher power. Different religious traditions may give it various names—Muslims may call it one thing, Christians another—but they are, in reality, all completely and unequivocally mistaken. The true god of the heavens, the star-crafted, white-knuckled, mind-shackled beast of burden, is Hanuman, the Monkey King. This is axiomatic, as Hanuman communicated with me in a dream and confirmed my latent suspicions.

For every one of the stars in the sky, a thousand more have ceased to exist, cosmically extinguished. When a star reaches the age of 5,000, it burns too hot and consumes its own energy source at its core, also known as a homunculus. The ovum, or "star," as we call it, then gives birth to a being, or "human," that descends to Earth much like a dandelion seed in the wind or a speck of tobacco flicked from the tip of a cigar. Upon landing on the fertile soil of Terra, or "Earth," the human undergoes development into the forms we recognize and interact with on a daily basis. This event, also known as a "Star-fall," is a common occurrence, happening many times per second, which explains the increase in the global population. The homunculi are guided from their celestial positions to Earth with the assistance of spirits that resemble the magnificent and auspicious heron. Countries that have incurred the wrath of the heron often face dire consequences, as witnessed in the cases of Japan and Germany, whose failure to defeat the Allied powers during the Second World War angered the Heron Emperor and consequently cursed these nations with low birth rates.

Similar to stars, our cells also undergo destruction through a process colloquially referred to as apoptosis. This is when advanced bacterial Protista strains swarm infidel cells and eviscerate them using tactics and strategies, resulting in a massacre of tissue and the loss of limbs and appendages. Those who incur the displeasure of the great god Hanuman experience an accelerated rate of cell destruction, commonly known as "fast metabolism," wherein their cells are provided with faulty and outdated battle strategies by the creature's DNA strands, resulting in faster cell defeat. Each human, upon descending to Earth, is granted a specific number of cell regenerations by the planet. Lowly individuals like street cleaners receive just 100 cycles, while chai wallahs and cobblers are bestowed with a more respectable 1,000, and the noblest castes are gifted with hundreds of thousands, allowing them to live effectively 100 times longer than their lowly counterparts.

Among the powerful and generous Brahma, or "upper class" as they are referred to in the western regions, there lies higher and secretive sects that harbour individuals who have undergone increased levels of enlightenment. Within the globe, there are 8 corresponding to the 8 base elements touched upon in our alchemy article. Viscosity, Spirit, Ephemerality, Division, Harmony, Beyond, and Tranquillity. Each of these sects has its strengths and weaknesses, and among their hallowed orders lie those with higher cell regeneration levels than that of a mortal beast. The first level consists of Lymphocytic priests who after 250 years of meditation and lack of consumption of earthy poisons (pleasure) can reach regeneration levels in the millions. A level further above is the Neutrophilic friars, who through agonising experimentation and diligent meditation have traded in all of their bodily forms for regenerations and in doing so are blessed with an average of a billion regenerations. Neutrophilic friars reside as a nervous system within vast pools of cerebral spinal fluid within a large inverted mountain on the outskirts of the ice wall. Their net of nerves tangle with each other forming an enormous proto-hypercephalon which is capable of performing operations incalculable to traditional or quantum computing. As such they can accurately predict all events 150,000 years into the future with 100% certainty. which has made them popular with lesser Medjay who wish to have the future lay bear before them, like the deserts of shifting sand they are so accustomed to crossing, only to discover, like the desert, predictions of the future are often harsher mirages than those which lure men to their deaths under the scorching south sun.

When Neutrophilic friars form a proto-hyper cephalon which they have been known to have done only 20 times, and after aeons of astrological time have passed, the pseudo neurons settle into their final locations resulting in a higher plane consciousness to form, an entity with its own free will. These consciousnesses seek out materials from which they can build their vessels capable of locomotion within the reaches of the cosmos. Not shackled by the bounds of gravity or mortal limits on imagination, they create baffling structures of incomprehensible size and shape revealing harsh truths about reality that the human mind could never comprehend, and as such cannot perceive them. Those more spiritually enlightened can begin to glimpse at the shifting shapes, dulled by their still limited senses and contrivances but many suffer lethal bleeding of the brain, as no existing circuitry exists within a mortal mind to house the enormity of information from a mere glance at these superstructures.